Leaving Him to Cry
by uekibachi
Summary: Youji's heart breaks when he does what he feels is the right thing... [shounen ai] [omixyouji]


Title: Leaving Him to Cry  
  
"I don't love you... love you... love you..." The awful words echoed in   
his head as he stared out the window. The image played in his mind. The way   
his eyes pierced his own with anger and hate and the way he stiffened up at   
his approach.  
"I need you, Youji, even if you don't love me." Omi sniffed and wiped   
his tears away.   
  
Sitting in a café booth, Omi watched the people come and leave the   
small café. He was early today since Mr. Yamamura had a trip to go on with   
his wife. Omi stared at his vanilla shake for a while before   
taking a small sip. He looked up again and saw his friends Shingo, Kaoru and Taka walk in.   
They didn't see him since he purposely sat himself in the back corner of   
the arcade. They looked around but once they didn't find what they were   
looking for they said hi to Shuichi, the manager of the café, and   
left.  
Omi sighed gratefully. He really didn't want to talk to them right now.   
He didn't want to put on a happy face and pretend that he was okay and   
that everything would be fine.  
Youji walked in and sat at the counter. He started talking to Shuichi   
before ordering a coke.  
Omi stared at his back with a sorrowful expression on his face. He   
lost him. He didn't know how he did it but he did. He must have   
done something awful to make him hate him so much. He tried to come up   
with some things he did or said wrong. Several came up but none of   
those certainly would make him hate him.   
Did he say something that offended him? No.  
Did he not love him enough? Omi shook his head. He loved him the best   
he could.  
Youji turned around and looked strait at him as if he knew exactly where   
he was the whole time. Omi started in her seat before looking away,   
blushing at being caught staring.  
He heard his footsteps approach his booth before he found him sitting   
across from her.  
Omi stared cautiously at him, wondering what he would say now. Would   
he simply tell him to get over him and stop making such a scene by   
staring stupidly at him like a lovesick puppy? Flashes of the time before   
they really knew each other appeared in his view. He could certainly   
imagine him saying that back then. Maybe he still had an edge to him.  
A second later he saw a moment in time where Youji wrapped his arm around   
his waist as they sat on a bench watching the sunset. He remembered how   
his hand found its way to his hair as it toyed with the sunkissed locks.  
"Omi."  
Omi snapped out of his thoughts and nearly burst out crying when he   
came back to his harsh reality. Why couldn't he love him like that   
anymore?  
"Huh?"  
"Are you okay?"  
Omi stared at him, incredulous. He was asking if he was okay?!   
Did he really care? Was this a dream?  
Omi opened his month to say 'I'm fine now that you're here' but that   
thought struck him as too clingy and besides he just might be taking his   
caring question the wrong way. Should he just say 'yes, I'm fine' or should   
he tell him the truth? Omi looked away from him. He couldn't lie to him   
if he was looking at him in the eyes.  
"I'm fine." His voice came out groggy and unconvincing. He wished his   
voice was stronger but with him so close... he just couldn't be himself.  
Youji nodded once then twice. Omi took one look at him and he knew that   
he didn't believe him, "Well, Shuichi asked me to talk to you for a second   
to make sure you're okay. He seemed a little worried."  
Omi swallowed hard. So he wasn't doing this because he cared.  
Omi felt tears come into his eyes. He tried to will them away but   
they wouldn't mind! He hid his eyes from Youji's view, "I'm fine."   
He repeated.  
And then he was gone.  
  
  
Youji walked to the arcade door, not even stopping to say goodbye to   
Shuichi, he walked out into the afternoon sun. He turned around and   
looked through the window. He could see Omi's head bent over the table.   
His shoulders shook as a sob racked his small body.  
I'm sorry Omi. I'm so sorry. He turned and walked back to his lonely   
haunted apartment. His heart begged him to go back and hold him and tell   
him that he was still there and that he loved him more than anything! But   
his mind and feet wouldn't let him. It was almost as if his heart was trapped   
in this hateful body that purposly tourchered his soul and pained his heart.   
He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and watched the couples pass by   
him.  
A vision of Omi hanging onto his arm and pointing out the great stores   
that he wanted to see flashed into his mind. He remembered how he didn't   
even know exactly what he was saying. All he thought of was the way he   
felt next to him and his sweet perfume.  
He snapped out of it and walked away, leaving his love to cry.  
  
//He Turns Away  
  
  
He turns away  
I don't know why  
I just watch him go  
Until I cry  
  
He turns away  
Leaving me to watch him go  
Why does he turn away?  
When he knows I love him so?  
I watch him come and go from day to day  
I wonder why he treats me this way.  
He ignores me one day  
He smiles at me another  
These mixed signals are driving me wild!  
  
He turns away  
I don't know why  
I just watch him go  
Until I cry  
  
This burning heart  
This burning flame  
Is eating at my brain.  
He's heartless,  
He's kind,  
He's cold,  
He's hot,  
Why can't he just be the same?  
  
I need his love but he pushes away  
I need his warmth but he keeps it to himself  
I'd give my soul to him for his love  
  
He turns away  
I don't know why  
I just watch him go  
Until I cry//  
  
By: Jeaneen M. Worthen  
  
The End. 


End file.
